Children of a parent who has chosen cremation should honor their parent's wish with acceptance and look for ways to celebrate the choice. Cremation has grown in preference over the years, being chosen 26.9% of the time in 2001, with that number projected to be 35.93% in 2010.
Memorial Service Plans When Cremation is Involved
Making the funeral plans for a mother or father isn’t easy while emotions are raw. However, most funeral homes have compassionate staff members who understand. If the family shifts their thinking into making the funeral service and memorial a celebration of the parent’s life, it becomes a fond remembrance and eases the sadness.
When a parent has elected to be cremated, his body will be absent during the service, but not his memory.
- Music – Choose music that includes the parent’s favorite songs and hymns as well as songs that comfort the rest of the family.
- Pictures – A display of family pictures provides a warm touch to the memorial service and is especially important after cremation. The pictures can be displayed where the casket would have been, giving family and friends a place to gather and say goodbye.
- Flowers – Pick floral arrangements that reflect the parent's gardening, personality or favorite colors.
- Remember the parent’s interests and hobbies – On a display table, display a golf club, fishing pole, bowling trophies, afghans, recipe box, paintings, favorite books; things that represent the parent’s life. This collage of personal items will touch friends and family members' hearts and trigger fond memories.
- Service – The pastor or clergyman who gives the memorial service can deliver a comforting message without input, but providing personal information regarding the parent and his family gives those who attend the memorial service a reminder of who their parent was in life.
- Personal stories – While it might be difficult for them to speak, always ask family and friends if they would like to share their stories during the service.
Involve all siblings in creating this memorial of the life of their parent, giving each person responsibility for some aspect of the service that will honor their parent’s memory.
After the Cremation Memorial Service
There will not be a processional to a burial site when cremation is involved, but instead, a direct processional to a celebration of the deceased's life! The gathering after the funeral provides family and friends closure and a time to fondly remember their loved one. Keep the food and event simple, focusing on the fellowship of the people who gather together. Display family albums and scrap books and ask others to bring pictures and stories. Shared memories and tears are cathartic for everyone.
The Beloved’s Cremated Ashes
The Cremation Association of North America has statistics on the disposition of ashes after cremation. They say that 40.7% were buried, placed in a columbarium, scattered on a dedicated property, or placed in a family grave; 17.8% of ashes were scattered as directed by family.
The scattering of ashes is regulated state-to-state and should be researched if the family plans to do so themselves. Alternatively, there are many companies that provide services for releasing a loved one’s ashes into the beauty of the world where they once lived.
Funeralsite.com provides information on companies that offer ash scattering and other ideas:
- Above and Beyond provides aerial burial in Arizona.
- Heaven’s Wings scatters ashes over the California coastline
- Ladies in White carry ashes to beautiful natural sites
- Eternal Ascent Society releases ashes via a balloon
- Angel’s Flight Inc. can create a fireworks display
- Eternal Reefs creates a concrete memorial reef plaque that lives under the sea forever.
Remembering a Parent After the Funeral: Keepsakes
When a parent has been cremated there is no headstone to visit, therefore it is important for their children to create a way to remember their parent in some way. The funeral home will usually have items that can be purchased as keepsakes.
Pendant – One keepsake to consider is a pendant shaped in a heart, flower or angel, that can be filled with a bit of the loved ones ashes. The pendant can then be worn in loving memory of their parent.
Picture Collage – Another way to keep a parent’s memory alive is through a collage of pictures. A slide show of the parent’s life can be created for a digital frame, ready for display at any moment. Children and grandchildren can participate in preserving memories in a scrapbook project together, using all those wonderful, old pictures that were stored away in boxes!
Commemorative Plaques – Many companies offer items that can commemorate a parent's life in a plaque, wall hanging, or an angel or other statue-like item.
Losing a parent is never easy, but time eases the loss. After a parent’s death and cremation, their spirit lives on in their family's hearts, and in the memories created during their life together.
Resources:
Funeralplanning.com
The Funeralsite.com
Jan Peterson - I'm a retired banker, published songwriter, cyber journalist, and member of the advisory board for the Arizona Music & Entertainment Hall ...
Join the Conversation